


We Met in the Dark

by MoonlightBreeze



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alec Lightwood Feels, Alec Lightwood Needs A Hug, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt Magnus Bane, Light Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Needs A Hug, Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood First Meet, Meet-Cute, Meet-Ugly, Mild Blood, Self-Harm, They get their nice things in the form of each other, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:22:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlightBreeze/pseuds/MoonlightBreeze
Summary: One gym. Two punching bags. Four split knuckles. And one unbelievable chance for something more than everything Alec has ever known.Or, sometimes helping others is easier than helping yourself.Contains self-harm and mild blood. Please keep yourselves safe! <3 Hopeful/happy ending.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 12
Kudos: 98
Collections: Favorite Malec Stories





	We Met in the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys! I wrote this fic a long time ago, but I just got around to editing it (thanks to my friend, who stole my phone and wouldn't let me read any fanfiction until I finished editing. Thanks, J! <3). 
> 
> This is basically a Malec meet-cute/meet-ugly where they're both self-harming in a gym. Trigger warning for self-harm and mild blood! Please keep yourselves safe, lovelies. <3
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this! Kudos make my day and comments validate my existence, so please feel free to leave those, if you want :) And as always, I hope you have a wonderful day/night!
> 
> ~ Em

Alec couldn’t hear much over the electronic music blaring from the speakers and the sound of the hits he was landing to the punching bag in front of him. It was dark red and already stained with his blood, and he’d only been at it for a few hours. 

Next to him, another guy with a mohawk and an angry look on his face was doing the same, but he was wearing the boxing gloves that all exercisers were supposed to. It made Alec feel the tiniest bit of remorse to know that gang-leader-mohawk-guy had more care for himself than Alec did. 

However, that didn’t stop him from landing another searing hit and cracking his knuckles again. 

The smell of sweat and body odour filled the gym and normally, that wouldn’t have bothered Alec, but today it served as a reminder that he was doing this in _public_. It wouldn’t have been his first option, and if Jace hadn’t locked him out of the basement training room with a sincere, “I’m worried about you, bro,” then he wouldn’t have even considered broadcasting his weakness to the world like this. 

The mohawk guy gave a final swing to his punching bag and grunted in satisfaction, peeling the gloves off of his hands and making his way to the door. Alec almost sighed aloud with relief. He was, for the most part, alone now. 

Emotions swirled in his chest, tight and overwhelming, and Alec punched again. The slick slide of blood down his fingers made him feel immeasurably better. He knew it wasn’t rational, knew it wasn’t healthy or good or normal, but he didn’t care. If this was what he had to do to get through the day, who were his siblings and friends to stop him?

The doorbell jingled, but Alec paid it no mind. Whoever was entering was probably a buff fitness guy who would head for the weights immediately or a PTA soccer mom looking to hit the treadmill before she picked her kid up from school. They wouldn’t bother him. 

He punched again. 

The heavy presence of another person beside him had Alec looking up from the depths of his own misery, and he was met with the sight of a man who looked just as wrecked as he felt. The man was wearing eyeliner, but somewhere between the application of it and now, it had gotten smudged and ruined and now his cheeks were painted with dark streaks of kohl. Glittery eye makeup shimmered in the fluorescent lighting of the gym, and Alec was surprised to see the heaps of silver coating this man’s eyelids. He was wearing sweatpants and a workout shirt, but Alec could see the frown lines on his face. 

This man was here for the same reason Alec was, and Alec didn’t know how to feel about that. 

“What are you looking at?” the man snapped. He turned to face Alec, and Alec caught a glimpse of golden brown. They were the most interesting eyes he’d ever seen. 

The man made an impatient gesture with his hand, and Alec realised he’d been staring too long. “Oh, um, nothing,” he said, stuttering over the words as his cheeks flamed red. Not wanting to be caught staring a second time, he turned his attention back to the punching bag and ignored the other man in favour of splitting his knuckles once more. 

There was a sharp inhale from his left, and Alec looked up to see the man staring at him, or rather at what he was doing. He looked conflicted, and Alec tightened his jaw. He didn't come here to be subjected to some bullshit intervention. 

“What?” he asked flippantly, trying to sound more confident than he felt. “What are you staring at?”

The man shook his head and said, “Nothing, I just don’t think you should be punching like that. It looks like it’s hurting you.”

Alec clenched his jaw and turned away. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, okay.”

He didn’t turn around, but Alec heard Velcro straps and knew the man was putting on the gloves they were supposed to wear when they hit the punching bags. He listened intently, fists hovering over the leather of his bag, but the man didn’t start punching. 

Alec kept his eyes on the red leather for a minute, but his curiosity won out. He peeked over at the other man and then did a double take. He was undoing the straps of his gloves and sliding them off. Alec wondered what he was doing. He didn’t have to wonder for long. 

The golden-eyed man threw a punch to the bag and watched in satisfaction as the skin over his knuckles tore from the force of the hit. When he noticed Alec watching, he raised an eyebrow. “What? You can’t say anything. You were just doing the same thing.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Yeah, but what?” The man gritted his teeth and landed another hard hit to the bag. “Leave me alone.”

Alec reluctantly turned back to his own punching bag, but he couldn’t bring himself to make a jab at it. He listened to the sound of the other man beside him, winced every time he heard him land a punch. He realised he was being hypocritical, but he didn’t care. He didn’t want the man to hurt himself. Even if he was a complete stranger, he didn’t want to see it, listen to it, didn’t want to stand there and do _nothing_. There was something about him that made Alec want to comfort, to help, to protect. 

He reached out and placed a firm hand on the punching bag, stopping it mid-swing. The man glared at him. “Move.”

“No. Not until you stop.”

“Why should I?” he snarled, and tried to get around Alec to hit the bag again, but Alec moved just as quickly and cut him off. 

“I _will_ punch you instead,” the man warned him. “Get out of the way!”

“I don’t think you will,” Alec commented. “You want to hurt yourself, not someone else.”

The man ran his bruised hands through his hair, messing up the gelled spikes that were already starting to wilt. “I’ll have you know that I’m perfectly capable of hurting you.”

“I have no doubt about that,” Alec said evenly. “I just don’t think you _will_.”

“Don’t tell me what I will and won’t do!”

“What’s your name?”

The man’s eyes widened in surprise. “What?”

“What’s your name?” Alec repeated. “It’s a simple question.”

The man blinked and then answered, “Magnus,” and Alec had a feeling it was because he couldn’t think of a reason not to fast enough.

“I’m Alec.”

“Well, Alec, do you mind going back to your misery and leaving me alone to mine?” Magnus said, but his eyes flashed as the words left his mouth, and Alec knew he’d found his opening. 

“You don’t want me to keep doing that,” Alec said softly. “You don’t want to watch me hurting myself.”

Magnus rolled his shoulders back and turned away from Alec. “So what if I don’t? I’m only human. I don’t like seeing others in pain.”

“Seems like we have something in common, then.”

“You’re worse off than me,” Magnus said, pointing to the blood that dripped steadily from Alec’s hands. “You’ve been here a long time.”

Alec shrugged, suddenly feeling as though he’d made a terrible mistake. 

“So why are you here?’ Magnus asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Why are _you_ here?”

“I asked first.”

“I asked second.”

Magnus heaved a sigh and raised an expectant eyebrow at Alec. Alec met his gaze without flinching, refusing to give an inch. 

“I’ll tell you why I’m here if you tell me why you’re here,” Magnus offered.

Alec studied him critically. “And why should I believe that?”

Magnus grinned, and it was sharp and catlike and made Alec’s heart skip a beat. “You shouldn’t.’

Alec sighed and focused his gaze on the ceiling. “Been too long since I made a trip.”

“Ah, so you’re in _that_ stage,” Magnus replied in an all-knowing, infuriating way.

“What stage?” Alec bit back. 

“You’re addicted,” Magnus said simply. 

“What - I am not - I am not _addicted_!” Alec sputtered. “That doesn’t exist!”

“Addiction doesn’t exist?” Magnus raised an eyebrow, and Alec flushed as he realised how that must have sounded. 

“No, no, of course it does,” Alec amended. “Addiction to _this_ , I mean. It doesn’t exist.”

“And what makes you think that?” Magnus asked. “It’s just as addicting as drugs, Alexander.”

Alec narrowed his eyes at Magnus. “My name’s not Alexander. It’s Alec.”

“Pardon me, _Alexander_ ,” Magnus smirked, and Alec was torn between wanting to punch him and wanting to taste the way his name rolled off of the other man’s lips. 

“You’re wrong,” Alec stated plainly. “Even if addiction to something like, like _this_ existed, I’m not addicted.”

Magnus’s lips quirked up in the shadow of a smile. “You can say self-harm, Alexander, it’s okay. It’s not a dirty word.” There was a teasing tone to his voice, but Alec could hear the gentle undertone and he was ashamed to admit that it drove a dagger of yearning into his heart. 

“That’s not what this is,” Alec attempted to defend himself. 

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “Oh, really? What do you call it?”

“Letting off steam,” Alec responded defensively. 

“I think it escalates from letting off steam to self-harm when you start bleeding,” Magnus commented, gesturing to Alec’s hands. Alec flushed and hid them behind his back, a movement that clearly made Magnus unhappy. He grabbed Alec’s wrists and forced him to hold his hands out again. 

“Do you really think I, of all people, would care?” Magnus growled. 

“No, it’s just that - ”

“It’s just that it’s weak, and you’re weak, and blah blah blah,” Magnus snapped. “Well, too bad. I’m not going to stand here and pour my heart out to someone that can’t even show me the same respect.”

Alec flushed and stilled. Magnus, seemingly satisfied by this reaction, let go of Alec’s wrists. Alec, much to his chagrin, found himself missing the other man’s touch. 

“So,” Alec said, crossing his arms, “It’s your turn.”

Magnus scowled at him. “You’re changing the subject.”

“So are you.” He chanced a glance at Magnus’s intense golden-brown eyes and saw fear there - fear of opening up, fear of judgement, fear of rejection. It made his stomach twist uncomfortably. He unfolded his arms and tangled his hands together nervously. He still felt self-conscious about the blood that ran down his fingers and he wished that he had gloves, but Magnus was what was important here. If Magnus wanted to see his self-destruction for some strange, macabre reason, then he would shove aside his pride and give the other man what he wanted. 

“Fine,” Magnus said gruffly. He turned to look at a picture of the founder of the gym that was hanging on the wall in front of them to avoid meeting Alec’s gaze. “It’s the three-year anniversary of a messy breakup of mine, and I needed to forget for a while.”

Alec stopped twisting his hands. “Forget what?”

“Everything,” Magnus admitted, biting his lip. “Our relationship, the breakup, the things that led to it.” He shrugged noncommittally. “She’s a bad memory.”

Alec nodded. He understood that. He certainly remembered a few people that he’d known over the course of his 30-some odd years of life that had brought him nothing but negativity and threw even more fuel on the flame of his self-hatred. 

“You always come here for bad memories?” Alec asked, and he regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth. They sounded harsh and judgemental, and it wasn’t at all what he had been trying to say. 

Magnus stiffened. “Not always.”

Alec softened his tone and fought to obtain eye contact with Magnus. The other man resisted for a minute or two, but eventually Alec’s stubbornness prevailed and Magnus turned to look at him. “Just sometimes?” Alec asked, and his tone was a peculiar mixture of concern and accusation. 

“Yes,” Magnus replied, a defensive edge to his voice. “Just sometimes.” He cast a sideways glance at Alec. “Less than you, probably.”

Alec gave him a withering look. “You don’t have any idea how often I’m here.”

Magnus laughed bitterly. “I can make a pretty good guess.”

“Are you okay?” Alec asked. He winced when he realised what he’d said. It was such a stupid question. But he didn’t want to talk about himself. If he’d wanted to talk about himself, he would have stayed home and poured his heart out to Jace or Isabelle. 

He came here to hurt, to bleed, to - to - Alec inhaled sharply. 

For fuck’s sake, maybe he _was_ addicted. 

“Of course not,” Magnus snapped, and Alec worried his lip between his teeth. It wasn’t like he hadn’t expected that answer, but it still hurt to hear. 

“Do you want to, I don’t know, talk about it?” Alec offered lamely. “We could go for a walk or something.”

To his surprise, Magnus smiled - a real, genuine smile. “I think I would like that, Alexander.” The wave of emotion that flooded Alec’s chest at those simple words surprised him; he wasn’t supposed to feel this way about a complete stranger. 

“On one condition,” Magnus said, and Alec snapped to attention once more. “I’m not just going to sit there and talk about me the whole time.”

“But I - ”

“No buts, Alexander. I will tell you every single gritty detail of my relationship, why it ended the way it did, and what about it hurt me so much.” He gave Alec a look that sent shivers down his spine, and Alec wondered what kind of hell this man had to go through to make him quite so... _unique_. He’d never met someone more open, yet closed-off. It was a confusing contradiction, and it made him want to learn everything he could about the man before him. 

Magnus was speaking again. “I will tell you everything you’re willing to hear.” He fixed Alec with another look, so intense that Alec knew he was being sincere. “I’ll do that, for you. As long as you do the same for me.”

Alec looked down at his shoes, at the blood that dripped steadily from his hands, at the tiles of the gym floor that were slowly being dyed red - and he _sighed._

He was _tired_. Tired of hiding, tired of lying and pretending to be fine, tired of being so fucking guarded all the damn time. Tired of _doing this_. 

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to talk to someone, just for a little while, just this once. Maybe, in a way, it would be easier to allow a stranger to see this side of him that he didn’t dare share with his family or anyone that he knew.

“Okay,” Alec found himself agreeing. 

“Promise?” Magnus asked, and when he offered his pinky to Alec, Alec couldn’t help but grin at him. The absurdity of that, in their current situation, was not lost on him. Nevertheless, he locked pinkies with the other man and they began to walk towards the exit of the gym. 

“Do you want some gloves for those?” Magnus offered, hesitating by a rack of gloves for sale by the door. 

Alec nodded eagerly. “Can you get my wallet for me? It’s in my back pocket.”

Magnus smiled and nodded at him, walking around to retrieve the requested item. Alec tried not to think about Magnus’s hands on his ass too much. He paid for a pair of gloves and slipped them on. Together, he and Magnus walked out of the gym and headed for the nearest park.

Alec’s hands ached and the blisters on his knuckles stung and hurt, but he felt lighter than he had in months. Magnus was beside him, and Alec thought that, maybe, he and Magnus had met each other at exactly the right time. 

Alec Lightwood didn’t believe in fate, but that was before he met Magnus Bane. 

**Author's Note:**

> [Stalk me on Tumblr](http://moonlight-breeze-44)
> 
> Prompts are open!
> 
> Want to scream about Shadowhunters (and other fandoms, too!) with like-minded people? Need help or encouragement with your writing/drawing/creating? Desire a community, a place where you feel at home and happy? Lover of chaos? [Join our Discord server](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD) for tons of chaotic fun! We welcome everyone, and we'd love to have you. <3


End file.
